


i’ve spent a lifetime running (but you make me want to stay)

by chahakyn



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Confessions, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, Falling In Love, Flirting, Fluff, Injury, Inspired by James Bond, M/M, Relationship(s), Slow Build, also you can pry spy aus from my cold dead fingers, changkyun has exactly zero sense of self-preservation, established-ish hyunghyuk, if you can call kihyun and hoeseok being passive-aggressively in love with each other “romance”, minhyuk is tired™, rated m for language because i don’t know how not to curse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 12:41:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14694450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chahakyn/pseuds/chahakyn
Summary: developing feelings for a member of the top-clearance branch of government intelligence services wasn’t in the job description.





	i’ve spent a lifetime running (but you make me want to stay)

**Author's Note:**

> u know that one buzzfeed vid where they interviewed an ex-kgb agent and he said that not one bit of the bond movies is at all accurate as to how actual spies work? haha yeah so suspend your beliefs for the next 14k words or so
> 
> ->for reference:
> 
> hyungwon- personal doctor  
> minhyuk- secretary  
> hyunwoo/shownu-leader/field operative  
> hoseok/wonho- field operative  
> jooheon- weapons analyst  
> changkyun- technical analyst  
> kihyun- quartermaster

            “Oh look, a message from the Head. _Trash_.” Changkyun lifts his finger in an exaggerated motion, about to send the email into oblivion until a stern look from Hyunwoo makes him freeze.

            “Stop. Read it.”

            “Ugh.” Changkyun wrinkles his nose and clears his throat, shifting into a better position on the floor for maximum sound projection.

            “Dearest _X_ _Branch_ , since you were all kind enough to rid us of the last, incompetent Quartermaster we provided you, we will be unnecessarily punishing you by sending you another one because we are masochistic and ignore the fact that you function perfectly adequately sans a handler. Send him back as soon as possible. Warmest wishes, _Stella Navis_ Department, Intelligence Services.”

            “Another one?” Hyungwon lifts his face from where it was mashed into the couch, glasses askew.

            “The email didn’t _really_ sound like that, right?” Hyunwoo’s face screws up in suspicion, eyebrows drawing even further together as Minhyuk barrels into the room.

            “Im Changkyun did you really hack into my email again and almost delete a message from the _Head_?!” His voice echoes shrilly in the high ceiling living room.

            “It’s all our email so, technically, no?”

            “Try again.” Minhyuk crosses his arms over his chest, foot tapping irritably.

            “I would answer if I were you, he’s awfully violent when he’s mad,” Hyungwon stage-whispers to Changkyun, ignoring his grimace.

            “I know that, everybody hears your screams from his room at night after he’s had a bad day.”

            “ _What_?” Jooheon drops his water bottle as he walks in, eyes wide with panic. Changkyun grins at Minhyuk’s rapidly flushing face, dodging the heavy medical tome Hyungwon launches at him in malice.

            “If you don’t fix this situation in the next 10 seconds, you get to call and explain to the Arabic government why you decided to hack into their largest airport’s security feed and broadcast ‘Banana Allergy Monkey’ on every screen in the building.” Minhyuk’s lips curl as Changkyun’s face pales in record time.

            “Ohmygodokay I hacked into your email but I didn’t do anything like delete an important message because Hyunwoo is like 90% of my impulse control and I promise I won’t do it again also you and Hyungwon are dead silent I had no idea you were fucking each other?” Changkyun inhales deeply and coughs, eyes watering.

            “I’ll hold you to that, even though I don’t believe you.” Minhyuk frowns, picking up Hyungwon’s book and tossing it back to him before settling next to him on the couch. Hyunwoo, whose eyes had been following the argument like a mildly riveting tennis match, finally speaks up.

            “Did he really hack into the…”

            “Yes.” Minhyuk pinches the bridge of his nose as he leans back. “And I have to call them to fix it.” Jooheon frowns and skirts around the couch before sitting on Changkyun, causing him to emit a high squeak not unlike those rubber chicken videos they watched for 3 days straight on a dead week.

            “’Banana Allergy Monkey’? Seriously?” Jooheon gives him a curious look.

            “I needed something Korean and catchy but simultaneously very annoying.” Changkyun wheezes, batting at Jooheon’s thigh.

            “Annoying?? You _take that back_!” Jooheon shriek echoes as he showers Changkyun with slaps. Changkyun shoves his fingers into Jooheon’s side, taking the moment of reprieve as a chance to wiggle out from under Jooheon’s weight and sprint down the hall. Jooheon follows in his wake, yelling. Hoseok steps into the room, glancing down the hallway and blinking before turning to everyone else, rubbing the back of his neck.

            “So…what did I miss?”

            “New Quartermaster. Apparently they didn’t take too well to us pissing Yoonho off to the point where he requested a transfer or else he would resign. You know how they hate ultimatums.” Hyungwon shrugs, sitting up and stretching.

            “Did they tell us anything about the new Quartermaster? Changkyun may have skipped over that part.” Shownu’s lips twitches as Minhyuk sighs heavily.

            “Yeah, they just said that…” He trails off, getting up and stooping over to pick up Changkyun’s laptop from the floor. “Blah blah, we shouldn’t have pissed Yoonho off and they’re not happy with us, they’re sending someone new and threatening us with budget cuts again if we don’t keep him--”

            “Budget threats again? That’s rich, we get a majority of _Stella Navis_ ’s work done at peak efficiency in half the time and budget they give.” Hoseok snorts, taking a sip from a lone cup on the coffee table.

            “That was Hyungwon’s from 2 days ago, don’t drink it.” Minhyuk waves his hand absentmindedly, eyes scanning the laptop screen rapidly. Hoseok wrinkles his nose in regret, setting it back down.

            “New guy is someone named Yoo…Kihyun? Coming tomorrow at noon and Junggi is escorting him—shit that means we need to get Changkyun to take down those non-protocol security measures he put up so they can come in. And I still need to organize Yoonho’s archives for this new guy…” Minhyuk trails off, muttering to more to himself than anyone else as he wanders into his office, laptop still in hand.

            “So… since our new Quartermaster is coming in less than 24 hours, should we clean the place up or something?” Shownu frowns, glancing at the spread of papers, medical journals, and no less than three disassembled guns lying on the dining table. A long pause follows as Hoseok blinks, lost in thought.

            “Nah.” Hyungwon mashes his face into the couch again, shrugging into the pillows.

 

\---

 

            Junggi arrives on the dot at noon with Kihyun at the front gate. This happily surprising punctuality backfires, as their arrival causes no less than 9 non-protocol alarms to blare throughout the house, further frightening Hyungwon into dropping his plate of burnt toast.

            “ _CHANGKYUN_!” Jooheon screams from the kitchen, taking a bite of his banana and staring blankly at Minhyuk, who had sprinted into the kitchen at the sound of the ceramic plate clattering to assess any damage. Minhyuk presses his fingers to his forehead, shaking slightly.

            “We’re never gonna get him to stay like this.”

            “ _WHAT_?” Jooheon shouts over the alarms, frowning as Hyungwon clumsily pats Minhyuk’s arm. The blaring lessens in intensity as Hyunwoo strolls into the kitchen.

            “He’s here.”

            “ _What_?” Minhyuk shuffles closer to Hyunwoo, cupping his hands to his ear.

            “HE’S _HERE_.”

            “ _God_ , I know. Come with me to bring them in.” Minhyuk clutches his hair briefly before grabbing Hyunwoo’s arm and rushing out the door, Hyunwoo stumbling into stride behind him. Hyungwon looks down at the floor at his toast, uncertain.

            “Try and remember the last time we swept the floor.” Jooheon advises sagely, the blaring lessening to one lone alarm. Hyungwon frowns before picking up the toast and plate, depositing them into the trash and sink respectively.

 

\---

           

            “We should have fucking _cleaned_ ,” Minhyuk hisses through his teeth, fingers jabbing harshly into Hoseok’s side as they all bow politely to their newcomer. Hoseok and all his however-many-pounds-of-muscle barely flinch, his eyes instead trained intensely on Kihyun. The confident upward tilt of his chin is betrayed by the fact that he’s shifted his grip on his bag at least 6 times since Junggi left a few minutes ago. It should be a tad worrisome for someone in their line of work to be this readable (and this nervous, really), but Hoseok can’t help but to find it endearing. Cute, even.

_He’s really cute._

            Hoseok mutters as much to Minhyuk, who looks torn between slapping Hoseok and having a mental breakdown. Kihyun shifts his grip on his bag again, eyes darting to each member.

            “Uh…hi?”

            “Hi! Hello, sorry! It’s been a long morning.” Minhyuk laughs slightly hysterically. Kihyun looks mildly alarmed.

            “I’m… uh, sorry to hear that?” Kihyun is beginning to look less and less sure of himself.

            “Do you want us to introduce ourselves, then show you around?” Hyunwoo’s voice exudes calmness and control, and everyone relaxes as someone trustworthy takes the reins. Kihyun nods politely.

            “Hyunwoo, but I go by Shownu in the field. Nice to meet you.” He sticks out his hand and Kihyun looks relieved at this semblance of normalcy, shaking it firmly.

            “Pleasure is mine. I’m Kihyun.”

            “Don’t worry, we know who you are. I’m Minhyuk, mere secretary by job title, jack-of-all-trades and caretaker of this terrible group of people in reality.” Minhyuk smiles brightly, shaking Kihyun’s hand enthusiastically.

            “That’s hardly fair of you to call us terrible in front of him. You’re corrupting him, he doesn’t even know us yet.” Hoseok shoots a small grin at Kihyun, thrusting his hand out.

            “Hoseok. Wonho in the field, it’s nice to meet you.”

            “Nice to meet you too. And he’s hardly corrupting me, I can decide how I feel about people on my own.” Kihyun tacks on the last sentence almost as an afterthought.

            “Hm. Good to know.” Hoseok gives him a smaller, less indulgent smile, squeezing Kihyun’s hand briefly letting go. Kihyun’s brow twitches up slightly before his gaze flits over to Hyungwon.

            “Hyungwon, on-site medical. I stitch Hyunwoo and Hoseok up and stuff everyone else with medicine during flu season. And I don’t do touchy stuff,” Hyungwon pauses to glance down briefly at Kihyun’s outstretched hand. Kihyun pulls it back quickly, frowning.

            “Sorry.”

            “Don’t even apologize, he only does touchy stuff with _certain_ people.” Changkyun grins at Kihyun, winking obnoxiously. Hyungwon takes this opportunity to slap Changkyun’s neck with the heel of his palm, shooting him a dirty glare. Changkyun yelps, rubbing the back of his neck.

            “See? Only certain people, so don’t take it personally. I’m Changkyun, technical targeting analyst, programmer, and resident hacker.” He takes Kihyun’s hand and shakes it, smiling impishly.

            “Also our resident nuisance.” Minhyuk stage whispers to Kihyun, eyes comically wide. Changkyun sticks his tongue out at Minhyuk. Kihyun looks over at Jooheon helplessly, last in line.

            “Hi, I’m Jooheon! Science, tech and weapons analyst, they just call us STWs. It’s nice to meet you!” He smiles and shakes Kihyun’s hand, dimpling.

            “Oh, I like you.” Kihyun sighs in a relieved way, smiling. Hyunwoo huffs out an amused laugh.

            “House tour sound good? We can drop your bags off and work our way down.” Hyunwoo picks up the 2 suitcases not in Kihyun’s hand, looking at him inquiringly.

            “Please.” Kihyun steps forward, pausing as Hoseok steps towards him, holding his hand out for his bag. Kihyun arches a brow in surprise, looking him up and down slowly.

            “I can handle it.”

            “I insist.” Hoseok arches an eyebrow back at him challengingly. Kihyun frowns before acquiescing and tentatively handing him his duffel before turning to follow Hyunwoo out of the living room and to the stairs. Changkyun snorts and punches Hoseok as un-subtly as possible. He flashes Hoseok a smile before dragging Jooheon down the hall. Minhyuk only sighs and shakes his head at Hoseok, strolling wearily into the office.

            “Playing nice?” Hyungwon jerks his head in the general direction of the stairs.

            “We’ll see. He’s cute, but I’m not sure how long he’s going to last. Might as well have some fun either way.” Hoseok’s lips twitch down as he shrugs casually.

            “Well if you’re gonna play that card...” Hyungwon smirks as he makes his way towards the stairs.

 

\---

           

            They enter the kitchen and Kihyun’s jaw drops.

            “How are you guys even _living_?” Kihyun’s eyes widen and he looks around in an odd mixture of disgust and awe. It’s a nice kitchen, really, but the stains on the countertop, dirty dishes and precariously stacked boxes of ramen betray their lifestyle.

            “We’re not.” Hyungwon deadpans, tripping over a bag of rice and stumbling forward, mashing his face into Hoseok’s back. Hoseok reaches behind himself, pushing Hyungwon away absentmindedly.

            “We do cook and clean, you just caught us on a…bad day?” Hyunwoo shrugs helplessly.

            “More like you caught us on a day where we didn’t listen to Minhyuk’s infinite wisdom on how we should have cleaned.” Hyungwon snorts. Kihyun looks around again in dismay before glancing back at them, accidently catching Hoseok’s eye.

            “Don’t look at us like that, we’re good at what we do.” Hoseok crosses his arms over his chest, eyes fixed challengingly on him. Kihyun snorts.

            “Don’t be obtuse, I’m not gonna let your shitty housework make me think you guys aren’t capable. We can’t all be good at everything.” Kihyun throws him a hint of a smirk (and if he had long hair, he totally would have flipped it over his shoulder) before turning away. Hyungwon elbows Hoseok right between his ribs and grins smugly.

 

\---

           

            Everyone falls into a rhythm, of sorts. And Kihyun learns a lot about his new coworkers. _A lot_.

 

\---

           

            “Minhyuk,” Kihyun wheezes, stumbling into the office. Minhyuk looks up from a rather intimidating stack of papers, blinking in confusion.

            “Hm?”

            “Hoseok is doing crunches. On the dining room _table_.”

            “Oh, that. Yes. It happens, it’d be best if you just roll with it.” Minhyuk sighs and rubs his face with his hands.

            “ _What_?!” Kihyuns nearly shrieks, eyes wide.

            “He’s testing you, he wants to work you up.”

            “I _know_ that, but what the _fuck_?”

            “Think of it like a more candid and less malicious hazing?” Minhyuk gives him a rather sheepish look, pen twirling between his fingers.

            “That’s not even right, why doesn’t Hyunwoo do things like this?” Kihyun shoves a hand on his hip, pointing viciously behind him at the doorway where Shownu stands frozen, looking in with his characteristic wide-eyed blank expression.

            “Because Hyunwoo is the only mature adult in this entire household besides myself. Don’t get used to it, we’re outnumbered two to four.” Minhyuk shrugs, waving at Hyunwoo before turning back to his papers. “And we’re still trying to figure out which category you fall in.”

 

\---

           

            Things settle as much as they can, really.

 

\---

           

            Kihyun jumps as a rather large folder falls into his lap, turning around to give Hoseok a pointed look.

            “The briefing for your first mission with us, Mr. Quartermaster. You’ll be guiding us through Amsterdam.” Hoseok’s lip twitches as Kihyun scrambles for the files, pulling papers out to scan and sort into piles at a rather alarming rate. Hoseok settles on the back of the couch and leans over, making a move to grab a sheet of paper to read.

            “ _No_ , don’t touch,” Kihyun mumbles, slapping Hoseok’s hand and snatching the paper back to settle it back into its appropriate place. Hoseok shrugs and watches Kihyun lose himself in the task of organizing papers. The minutes tick by before Kihyun peers up at Hoseok, as though he just remembered he was sitting there.

            “Don’t you have something better to do?”

            “Maybe, maybe not.” Hoseok shrugs, reading over Kihyun’s shoulder. Kihyun frowns and moves the paper away, bending back to fix Hoseok with an unamused look.

            “Stop being a nuisance and go bench-press Changkyun or something.”

            “Anything for you.” Hoseok quips, sliding off the back of the couch and strolling down the hallway. Kihyun turns, giving Hoseok’s back an disbelieving look before shaking his head and returning to the files.

 

\---

 

            Kihyun fiddles with his headset nervously, eyes darting about the screen as he adjusts the microphone for the umpteenth time. Minhyuk leans over.

            “You sure you’ve done this before?” He teases, flashing a bright smile at Kihyun as he pokes his cheek. Kihyun slaps his fingers away good-naturedly.

            “I have I have, I’m just… nervous. Past experience doesn’t make working with a new team any less nerve-wracking, y’know?” He shrugs.

            “Of course. You shouldn’t worry though, you’ll do great.” Minhyuk smiles again, squeezing Kihyun’s shoulder in a reassuring way. Kihyun feels himself relax, throwing a loose grin back at him.

            “Don’t listen to him Kihyun, Minhyuk just says stuff like that because he’s too nice when he knows someone is nervous,” Changkyun chirps cheerfully, adjusting his headset as he throws a cheeky grin at Minhyuk.

            “I will dropkick you to into hell Im Changkyun,” Minhyuk snaps back, lunging and playfully catching Changkyun in his grip before aggressively ruffling his hair.

            “HELP! I’m getting assaulted!” Changkyun squirms relentlessly, pitching his voice to an unnaturally higher frequency.

            **I’m going to go deaf if you keep that up, I.M.**

            “Ah, sorry Shownu.” Changkyun shoves Minhyuk way, sticking his tongue out aggressively as he adjusts his headset again, flipping the microphone away from his mouth. Jooheon slaps Changkyun upside his head, choking on his laugh as Changkyun makes a rather rude gesture back.

            _Is everybody good? No chances of panic attacks? I’m looking at you, Kihyun._

            “Lay off, I can handle myself, Hos- Wonho.” Kihyun gives the screen an embarrassed face at his slip-up as Changkyun taps a few keys, pulling up camera footage of Hyunwoo and Hoseok emerging from their separate hotel rooms on everyone’s screen. Hoseok chuckles.

            _Glad to hear that._

Kihyun watches Minhyuk click around his screen, pulling up communication lines to headquarters and back-up lines for emergencies. They have a few contacts in the area in case things go badly, which they hopefully will not.

            “Alright, both of you are on track. Your paths will be crossing and diverging in a block or so.” Natural silence follows as they watch Hoseok and Hyunwoo’s trajectory through the footage. Hyungwon enters, settling on Minhyuk’s desk further back in the room with a sandwich and a mug of coffee. Minhyuk glances back, sending Hyungwon a sad look at the food. Hyungwon smirks and jerks his head at the computer as Changkyun snaps his fingers Minhyuk and jabs his finger at the screen.

            “Kihyun, do you…” Minhyuk whips his head around.

            “Yeah, last block and a half. Wonho?”

            _Is it the man in the brown coat and black umbrella?_

            “Right in one, he’s on your tail. Turn left on the corner.” Kihyun’s eyes dart to Hyunwoo’s footage for a moment.

            “We’ve got Shownu.” Jooheon responds, as if reading Kihyun’s mind. Kihyun nods his thanks before focusing back on Wonho’s path.

            “Next right.”

            _Isn’t that a dead end?_

            “There’s a back emergency exit to a bookstore, which should be,” Kihyun pauses to glance at Changkyun, who nods and throws up 2 fingers followed by a quick thumbs up. “Both unlocked and de-alarmed.”

            _Copy that. I’m almost there._

            “Shownu, how are you doing?”

            **Clear so far, nothing out of the ordinary here. I should reach the checkpoint soon.**

            “Copy that.” Kihyun taps a few keys on the computer, splitting the view of Hoseok into a focus of Hoseok and a focus of the man tailing him. He narrows in on the man, setting a recorder to collect any and all details on him before focusing back on Hoseok, quickly switching his bird’s eye view from CCTV to the bookstores internal security camera system.

            _I’m in._

            “Good, just take a left and shimmy around that shelf before going straight.”

            _Shimmy? What era are you from, the 20’s?_ Hoseok snorts as he follows Kihyun’s directed path.

            “Just shut up and take that staircase down to the front entrance.” Kihyun snipes back, smirking as he hears the emergency exit alarm go off through Hoseok’s comm device. He exits quickly, evading the manager’s notice. Kihyun switches his view back to CCTV.

            _Thanks I.M._

            “No problem.” Changkyun flips his microphone down to reply.

            **I’ve reached the checkpoint.**

            “Copy that. Wonho has some distance to go, so you can grab something from that café if you want. The wait there is pretty short and they serve a mean cheese Danish.” Kihyun pushes the footage of the man stuck in the bookshop to the side of his screen, pulling up Hyunwoo’s live footage alongside Wonho’s. He glances up to find Minhyuk giving him an incredulous look.

            “What? I do my research.”

            _If you’re going to buy something, grab me a strawberry Danish please._

            **You and your sweet tooth. I’ll think about it.**

            _Awh, Shownu._

            “Shut up and take the next right, Wonho.”

            _Don’t gang up on me, Kihyun. I deserve at least a strawberry Danish for all this._

            “Well, depending on Shownu’s benevolence, you may just have to settle for the satisfaction of a job well done.” Kihyun watches Hoseok move along the street, glancing at Changkyun and Jooheon who are pouring over documents of potential weapons that may be on site.

            _You are all too cruel._

            “And you complain too much. Take another right at the street sign, and then an immediate left.” Kihyun grins as he watches Shownu buy 2 strawberry Danishes. A comfortable silence follows, punctuated by Kihun’s occasional directives to Wonho.

            _Ah, Shownu. I see you sitting at the table._

**** **Took you long enough.**

            _Rude, it wasn’t my fault._

            “Boys, boys,” Minhyuk chides absentmindedly, rubbing his chin as he taps into the security tapes of the building next to the café.

            “Ready to move?” Kihyun glances over at Changkyun, who gives him a nod.

            _Nonono let me eat my Danish first!_

            “God, Wonho, make it quick.” Kihyun rolls his eyes, leaning back in his chair and stretching before glancing at the security feeds of the neighboring building’s hallway. Minhyuk taps a few keys and points at the screen, flipping down his microphone.

            “Should be a quick exchange, the security personnel is minimally armed.”

            “They’re actually underwhelmingly armed for such a high-stakes exchange, so I’m willing to bet they’ve got more backup around.” Jooheon turns his screen towards everyone else, gesturing at the feed of the entourage assembling to meet Wonho and Shownu. “See, they don’t even have submachine guns, just your regular handguns. A little lax, if you ask me.”

            “Did you guys catch what Jooheon said?” Kihyun presses his fingers to his headset unconsciously, frowning as he regards the security feed.

            **Loud and clear, we’ll keep our eyes open.**

            “Sounds good. Ready to move?”

            _Bring it._

 

\---

 

            Hyungwon munches sleepily on his cereal, watching Kihyun bustle around the stove.

            “Why don’t you take a break and eat cereal or something?”

            “I don’t agree with your definition of cereal. The stuff you eat is literally just sugar.”

            “But it tastes good?”

            “You have the palate of a 6-year-old. Besides, you like it when I cook.” Kihyun shoots him a grin as he places a plate of bacon on the island counter. Hyungwon narrows his eyes before snatching up a piece.

            “Shut up.” He chews petulantly, avoiding Minhyuk’s attempt to ruffle his hair as he stumbles into the kitchen.

            “Morning!” Minhyuk shrugs and beelines for the coffee machine. He juggles the jar of coffee grounds before settling them carefully on the counter, a little too close to the edge.

            “Eggs over-easy?” Kihyun gives the jar a nervous look.

            “I love you,” Minhyuk says earnestly, tapping his foot as he waits for the coffee to brew.

            “Where’s everyone else?”

            “Jooheon and Changkyun stayed up playing Overwatch. Didn’t you hear them yelling at each other at 4 AM?”

            “Yeah, something about some character having unrealistic reload animation?” Kihyun shrugs, expertly sliding eggs out of the pan and onto a plate as Hyungwon snickers into his bowl of sugary-sweet milk.

            “Typical Jooheon, the details on shooter games always get to him,” Minhyuk smiles, fidgeting with his mug. “Anyways, Hyunwoo and Hoseok are off doing things… buff people things?”

            “Nah, just Hyunwoo.” Hoseok strolls in, wiping the sweat off his forehead with a towel. His chest glistens with sweat, muscles shifting as he throws the towel the towel over his shoulder. Kihyun’s mouth drops open as he blanches. Hoseok smirks, eyes flicking to Kihyun before moving towards the food.

            “Heyheyhey, no shirt no service, we’ve been over this.” Minhyuk grumbles, shoving Hoseok away from the breakfast spread and pinning him with a glare over the rim of his mug. Hoseok rolls his eyes, exiting and reappearing a few minutes later wearing a tight black t-shirt that leaves nothing to the imagination.

            “Better?” Hoseok bites back at Minhyuk, raising an eyebrow challengingly as he swipes a piece of toast off the plate.

            “Not really.” Minhyuk scowls half-heartedly, pressing his forehead against Hyungwon’s shoulder with a sigh. Hoseok makes a triumphant noise, grinning.

            “Well tough luck, it’s a shirt.” He sits down next to Hyungwon, loading a plate with food. He looks up to find Kihyun watching him. Kihyun whips around quickly to poke at the pancakes, the tips of his ears turning red.

            Hoseok smiles mischievously, leaning his elbow on the table and resting his face in his palm. He waits for Kihyun to turn around before blatantly eyeing him up and down. His gaze lands on Kihyun’s face, quirking a brow as he slowly chews on his piece of toast. Kihyun’s face flushes as he quickly dispenses the pancakes on the counter and turns back to the sink.

            “How lewd,” Hyungwon drawls, nose wrinkled in disgust. Hoseok hums, flipping Hyungwon off as he spears pancakes onto his plate. 

            “Any syrup for me, Kihyun?” Hoseok purrs. A plate clatters in the sink in response.

 

\---

 

            Kihyun yelps as a heavy folder lands in his lap. He frowns at the folder, experiencing an odd case of déjà vu as he looks up at Hoseok.

            “Briefing for you, Mr. Quartermaster.” Hoseok smirks.

            “I didn’t know field operatives regularly briefed their own handlers.”

            “You refuse to read anything but physical copies of briefings and Minhyuk doesn’t want to run them to you. Hence, you see more of me.” Hoseok shrugs, settling in an armchair opposite Kihyun and opening a file of his own. Kihyun pulls out some papers, laying them out on the coffee table before considering them for a moment

            “So, is this going to be a thing now?” Kihyun looks up at Hoseok.

            “If you want it to be.” Hoseok throws him a ridiculous wink. Kihyun snorts and turns back to the files, smiling.

 

\---

 

            “Yeah I don’t know what to tell you man, it’s all Greek to me.” Changkyun cackles to himself, nearly folding himself in half in his chair at the force of his laughter

            _If you say that phrase one more time I’m going to set myself on fire._

            “What? I can say whatever I want. You’re in Greece, I make Greek jokes.”

            “Those aren’t Greek jokes, they’re just shitty English ones and you know it.” Hyungwon shoots Changkyun an unimpressed look, taking a neat sip from his cup of coffee.

            “Fuck off, you’re bilingual and you somehow don’t even have a fraction of my talent in joke-telling.”

            “ _Excuse_ me? I’ll have you kno--”

            “ _Anyways_ ,” Kihyun rolls his eyes, speaking over Hyungwon and Changkyun’s forceful bickering in the backdrop, “Shownu, you should find a small circular disk in your breast pocket. Insert that with your keycard at the checkpoints and you should get in just fine.”

            **Understood. Approaching first checkpoint, I’ll keep you updated.**

            “Copy that. Wonho, how’s it going?” Kihyun glances at Changkyun, who’s abandoned his argument with Hyungwon in favor of breezing his way through the security key-card coding.

            _It’s going and all that. These locks are a bitch to work with, but I’ll be in position by the time Shownu gets in contact with the building manager._

            “Good. You have time.” Kihyun leans back in his chair, hands flailing a little before managing to swipe a cookie off the plate in Jooheon’s hands. Jooheon’s eyes widen as he lets out a gasp.

            “How _could_ you?” He pouts, giving Kihyun a sad look and a wide berth as he navigates his way back to his seat.

            “You knew he had it in him. By the way, what are these security companies on? This is a little too easy to get past.” Changkyun shrugs, pushing his glasses up his nose as he gestures at the screen.

            “Hm. Keep an eye out for anything else weird.” Minhyuk frowns, his arms reaching back towards Hyungwon and making grabby hand for his coffee as he clicks through a few documents. Hyungwon relinquishes his grip on his mug, snatching it back quickly when Minhyuk nearly empties it into his mouth at an alarming rate.

            “God, learn to take a nap or something,” Hyungwon admonishes, pulling the mug out of Minhyuk’s reach.

            **First check point is clear, I’m heading to the second floor.**

            “Sounds good, keep it up. Wonho?” Kihyun mumbles through a bite of snickerdoodle.

            _I’m in, making my way up to the third floor._

            “Mm. Changkyun, cameras?”

            “They’re…already out for some reason. Don’t like _that_ very much.” Changkyun frowns to himself, tapping his chin as he checks. “Yeah, cameras have been disabled all down this hallway.”

            “Not good. Did you catch that?” Kihyun’s brow furrows as he worries his microphone absentmindedly.

            _Loud and clear. Same route or are we changing it up_?

            “Let’s…just keep it. We’re gonna be walking blind here, you’ll be alright?”

            _Please, you know me._

            “Yeah, and I know you get lost in the house when you sleep walk.” Kihyun smiles, leaning forward absentmindedly, as if moving closer to his computer will allow him to hear Wonho’s low murmur better. Minhyuk smiles at Kihyun’s motion, catching Hyungwon’s eye. Hyungwon raises an eyebrow, tilting his head and rolling his eyes dramatically for show. Minhyuk giggles quietly, shaking his head fondly before turning back to his screen.

            _Yeah, yeah, just shut up and let me do my thing, baby._

            “ _Baby_?” Changkyun snickers into his hand, grinning at Kihyun’s flushed cheeks.

            “ _Please_ , just do this job so I can finally relax.” Kihyun rubs his face, looking at the screen from between his fingers.

            _I know. Target entry is 3 doors down_.

            “Good. The lock is manual, but that shouldn’t be a problem for you.”

            _It won’t be. Give me a second to…not unlock this door?_

            “What?” Minhyuk turns to the look at the screen. “That’s not right. Also suspicious.”

            “The computer, is it still intact?” Kihyun inquires, worried tone seeping through the feed. A long pause extends.

            _It looks like everything’s been wiped, but I’ll link I.M in to check._

Kihyun’s eyes widen, his head whipping around to meet Minhyuk’s eyes in a panic. Changkyun’s fingers dance over his keyboard eyes scanning the screen intently.

            “It’s clean, for sure. Someone did copy before wiping, though. _That_ much is obvious.”

            _The camera work must have been theirs._

            “Yeah, and this guy’s got _connections_. The whole floor is out now. Except…” Changkyun leans forward in his seat, keys clacking quickly as his eyes skim through security feed.

            “There. The camera breaks were covering him, without a doubt.” Changkyun smirks, satisfied, as he presses one key with a flourish to bring a slightly grainy image of the culprit onto everyone’s screens. Kihyun squints.

            _Oh. Him. We had something on the file that said to look out for him._ _Hey Shownu, are you seeing this?_

            “He’s still tied up with the manager. And yeah, I remember this guy being mentioned. He’s a Bolivian… arms dealer?”

            “Chilean, but close, Kihyun.” Jooheon chirps out.

            _Shownu, get out of there, we don’t need the manager anymore_.

            “Okay, okay, we need to regroup and figure--”

            _Hold on._

            “Wonho?” Kihyun frowns, fingers worrying his lips absently. A long pause follows. “Wonh--”

            _He’s under us, ground floor and about to head out to the back courtyard. Shownu, are you with me here?_

            **Here and ahead of you, I’m on him.**

            _Good, I’ll be followi--_

            “What are you doing? You can’t go after him, we have no idea what he’s doing, or what he has with him.” Kihyun glances as Jooheon, eyebrows furrowed. “Get me everything you have on him.”

            “Gotchu.” Jooheon nods, and Kihyun turns back to his screen and watches Wonho stride briskly to the back stairs. His eyes dart to Shownu’s figure exiting the lobby through the back door to the courtyard.

            “Both of you need to get out of there, _right now_.” Kihyun grits his teeth, finger drumming agitatedly against the wood of his desk as Wonho briskly exits the lobby.

            **We have a lead, we can’t abandon this. We need that information.**

            “Your lead is there, but you have no idea what he has on his side. You can’t do this.”

            **We know enough. Let us do our job.**

            “At least wait until we know more about who you’re following!” Minhyuk blurts out, his hand rubbing the back of his neck before he turns to Changkyun and converses rapidly, pointing at the screen and looking irritated.

            _Really? You know we don’t have the time for that_.

            “ _Make_ time then, we can’t risk you running blind into something this risky.”

            **We don’t have the time, Kihyun. Risks need to be made.**

            _You seriously can’t expect us to cut it when we’re this close._

            “You’re not close at all, you have no idea what you’re running into. _We_ have no idea what you’re running into!” Kihyun throws his hands up in exasperation.

            _Well, you won’t need to worry about that. We’ll be taking care of it._

Kihyun inhales quickly, eyes widening as he watches Wonho’s fingers reach up to his ear.

            “Wonho, Shownu, fall back _now_. That is an _order_.” Time seems to slow down as Wonho freezes, his head turning slightly to meet Shownu’s gaze. A seemingly endless pause ensues, before Wonho’s hand moves up and Kihyun feels like he can’t _breathe_.

            _Trust us._

            “Hoseo--” The communication line breaks into a loud, high-pitched static. Kihyun jerks away instinctively, hands coming up to fumble as his headset as he yanks it off his ears. He drops the headset, rubbing his ears and staring at the screen, watching Shownu and Wonho abandon their crushed earpieces on the sidewalk. Kihyun’s fingers worry against his lower lip as he curses.

            “What…what now?” Changkyun looks nervous, cracking his knuckles idly.

            “Kihyun, what are your orders? They’ve abandoned contact, it’s your call.” Minhyuk fiddles with his microphone nervously, eyes trained on Kihyun. Kihyun bites his lip, staring at the screen as he wordlessly mouths to himself, lost in thought.

            “ _Kihyun_!” Minhyuk snaps, causing Kihyun to start. His face jerks towards Minhyuk. “Your orders.”

            “God, they… _fuck_ …” Kihyun clenches his jaw before turning to look Minhyuk in the eye. “Cut contact with the earpieces as precaution, they can get traced back to us. Get me every possible camera angle on where they are, and where they could be going. CCTV, satellite, anything. And call our backup.”

            “I’m on the earpieces and cameras.” Changkyun turns back to his computer, fingers flying over keys.

            “We call backup, we’re gonna notify the Head.” Minhyuk pales, lips pressed into a thin line. His eyes are determined, with a subtle hint of fear.

            “We have to. They’re out there, practically blind, and we’re here with our hands tied. There’s no other option.” Kihyun pinches the bridge of his nose for a moment. Minhyuk nods and stands, moving to another desk to pick up the phone. Kihyun turns away.

            “Jooheon, get us anything on this guy’s weapon preference, affiliates, everything. We need to be prepared.”

            “Got it.” Jooheon turns to his screen, squinting valiantly as Kihyun tilts his screen upward, scanning the changing feeds, flashing between angles from the inside of the building to the outside to the streets surrounding the property. His eyes narrow, scanning intently as his fingers come up to tap keys intermittently, switching angles. Minhyuk’s low murmurs sound from the desk behind them

            “We have…a situation… Yes, I hav--no, no Sir. They’ve abandoned all contact, we couldn’t have done anything to prevent it… Yes…yes, of course… That would be greatly appreciated…” Minhyuk’s fingers twirl the telephone cord nervously, before getting up and returning to his desk and pulling his headset on.

            “Seokwon.” Relief bleeds through Minhyuk’s voice as he adjusts the microphone. “We need you to come and backup Wonho and Shownu in Athens. We don’t have coordinates…yeah…yes, but we’ll give you what visuals we can catch through CCTV.”

            Minhyuk murmurs information over the connection to Seokwon as the rest of the room watches the screens with tense expressions. Jooheon slaps Changkyun’s shoulder in a panic as the perpetrator turns and shoots haphazardly over his shoulder. Kihyun prays, _prays_ that the man doesn’t have as a good of an aim as his file says he does.

            He misses Wonho’s leg by a hairs length before turning back and running faster. Wonho and Shownu charge after him. Minhyuk suddenly gasps, finger stabbing the screen at someone up ahead emerges on their right, gun in hand. He’s only visible from their aerial view and Kihyun _knows_ that Wonho and Shownu won’t see him in time. He raises his gun and takes aim.

            _Oh God_.

            “Right, right, on your _righ_ \--” Kihyun spits out. His fingers come up to instinctively touch his headset, only to touch his ear. His eyes widen as he watches Wonho turn too late, shoulder jerking back with the impact of the bullet. Jooheon jerks in his seat as he winces instinctively.

            “Oh--” Minhyuk claps his hand over his mouth. In two long strides, Hyungwon appears at his side, arm wrapping firmly around Minhyuk’s shoulder as he squints at the screen.

            Wonho stumbles, face twisted in pain as Shownu catches him. They converse for a moment before Wonho shakes his head, clamping his hand over his arm as they continue the chase.

            “Upper arm, no exit wound, he’s still mobile. He’s been better, but with that blood loss, he isn’t going to last as long,” Hyungwon notes, brow furrowing as he watches the screen.

            The suspect pulls them down alleys and side streets, leaving Minhyuk to try and keep up with their route. Hyungwon’s finger traces a paper map in Minhyuk’s lap, letting Minhyuk’s eyes dart up from the screen to consult another map every few minutes while relaying information to Seokwon.

            “There’s…that’s his backup, isn’t it?” Changkyun inquires, fingers tapping rapidly to keep Shownu and Wonho in view with the feed. A group of four more men emerge, three surrounding the perpetrator and two making their way towards Shownu and Wonho.

            “ _Shit_.” Kihyun’s fingers curl against the desk, heart racing.

            The suspect and his entourage run further, stopping at a nearby building as Wonho and Shownu handle his backup. Kihyun can see Wonho favoring his left arm, still managing to elbow one man in the gut. He yanks the gun from his grip, pressing it against the man’s temple and shooting without hesitation. Kihyun watches the blood splatter against Wonho’s face, eyes hard and face stony even through the grainy feed. He shivers.

            Wonho turns to where Shownu and the other man are grappling on the floor. With a well-aimed shot, Wonho disposes of remaining backup. Shownu rolls over, pushing the man off his back as he touches his side.

            “He got sliced in the abdomen, could be worse,” Hyungwon mutters. They numbly watch as the suspect and his backup move away from the building and slip into three different cars, all driving off in different directions. Shownu and Wonho stop, bracing themselves against the wall and clutching wounds. They suddenly freeze, communicating quickly to each other before running towards a fuel tank next to the building.

             “That’s a fucking bomb, holy _shit--_ ” Jooheon snaps his fingers frantically, jabbing insistently at the grainy bulge against the tank on the CCTV feed.

            “Are you sure?” Kihyun squints at the screen before standing up, fingers pushing through his hair in frustration.

            “Positive. That thing is stuck solid to the fuel tank, they can’t move it or it could blow.” Jooheon chews on his nails, zooming in on his screen and trying to see it as clearly as possible.

            “How much time do they have?”

            “2 minutes, they either need to get the hell out of there or diffuse it, _fast_.” Jooehon’s leg bounces nervously, fingers tapping agitatedly against the table. Kihyun turns to Minhyuk.

            “Backup status?”

            “Not enough time. Pireas is close, but not that close.” Minhyuk covers his microphone with one hand, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

            “ _Fuck_. They need to leave…” The whole team watches with baited breath as Shownu and Wonho look at each other on screen for a split second before diving in, Shownu whipping out a small collection of tools from his breast pocket. They carefully pry the cover off the bomb wires, considering the spread before them.

            “Green, red, yellow, and then black, if the rumors about this guy having a cut pattern are true.” Jooheon’s eyes never leave the screen as he speaks.

            Kihyun clenches his fingers into fists, digging into his skin so hard he can feel nails cutting into his palms. He can see Wonho struggling, can see his hand gripping his wound, his arms shaking as he considers the bomb and carefully cuts wires, Shownu quietly advising him from the side. Wonho winces every time he moves and Kihyun wants to cry, wants to scream at him, wants to wrap him up in his arms and hold Wonho tight to forget the pain.

            “30 seconds.”

            “We lost the suspects at Kodrou, CCTV break.” Changkyun calls out, keys tapping at a frantic rate.

            “20 seconds. They’re down to the last wire.” Jooheon affirms as Kihyun curses under his breath.

            “Black, cut black, cut black--”

            “He’s cutting the… the white…” Minhyuk stares at the screen, his hand coming up to cover his mouth. Kihyun hisses as he turns his head away and sets his jaw, preparing for the worst. Wonho’s words ring in his ears.

            _Trust me._

 

\---

 

            Kihyun flings the door open, dragging Hoseok in by the arm and ignoring his pained wince. Minhyuk rushes up behind him, ushering Hyunwoo in and speaking in rapid undertones to the Seokwon at the door.

            “What the _fuck_ were you thinking?” Kihyun hisses, eyes narrowed angrily at both Hyunwoo and Hoseok. “How could you just ignore my instructions and go after him without knowing anyt--”

            “We’re sorry it had to come down to that, Kihyun. But we made the best choice.” Hyunwoo’s face is smoothed into his blankly diplomatic look, the wrinkle of his forehead indicating that he does have a little more to say on the subject.

            “Sorry isn’t _enough_ , you put a lot on the line for something that didn’t even work! How irresponsible could you be?”

            “Look, you wouldn’t understand, and it wasn’t your call.” Hoseok pulls his arm from Kihyun and crosses it gingerly over his chest.

            “Not _my_ call?” Kihyun sputters, drawing himself up in disbelief.

            “Hey, that’s enough.” Hyungwon steps between them, his hand coming to grip Kihyun’s shoulder. “You can verbally abuse them after I’ve fixed them up, yeah?”

            “Hyungwo--”

            “ _Kihyun_.” Hyungwon’s hand tightens imperceptibly, his eyes boring in Kihyun’s. Kihyun pauses for a moment, then grimaces, pushing Hyungwon’s hand off his shoulder.

            “ _Fine_.” He storms off into the office as Hyungwon ushers Hyunwoo and Hoseok into the adjoining room. Minhyuk whispers hurriedly to Seokwon, bowing repeatedly before closing the door gently and slinking in after Kihyun.

            Minhyuk sits at his desk, shuffling papers as he watches Kihyun pace back and forth relentlessly, hands fisted at his sides. Minhyuk sighs, pressing his fingers to his forehead for a moment before turning to his computer and beginning the report. He glances up every so often, watching Kihyun pace or listening to Changkyun’s fingers fly over his keyboard as he eradicates any trace indicating Hyunwoo and Hoseok had ever stepped foot into Greece.

            Half an hour passes. Kihyun still hasn’t stopped pacing and Minhyuk’s dead sure he’s worn a path into the carpet by now.

            “Kihyun,” He calls out. Kihyun freezes and turns. “Do you want some coffee?”

            “ _No_ ,” Kihyun spits out, stalking up to Minhyuk’s desk. “I want to know why Hoseok and Hyunwoo were so fucking _stupid_ as to abandon their comm devices! They got injured and we had to rely on fucking _CCTV_ to figure that out! So much went wrong, and it could have been even worse. They could have been _killed_ and we would have never known!” Kihyun’s hands shake as he throws them in the air in frustration.

            “You know exactly why, Ki. You’ve guided field operatives before, you know the way it is. How they work.” Minhyuk smiles wanly.

            “It’s irresponsible, that’s what it is,” Kihyun bites out, turning away angrily to watch Jooheon stare at his computer screen, the 2 grainy CCTV feeds of Hyunwoo getting stabbed and Hoseok getting shot looping side-by-side, over and over and over. Jooheon hangs his head briefly and exhales before picking up a pen and jotting a note down.

            “Would they be as good as they are if they didn’t work that way?”

            “Yes, they—well, no, but… _God_.” Kihyun rubs his eyes viciously.

            “They can’t be good if they have things tying them down. People, morals, anything of that sort. You’ve been in this business long enough to know that. People like Hoseok and Hyunwoo live life at a breakneck speed, and there’s no time for anything that can’t keep up with them.”

            “They can’t be that good if they don’t work like that, but they could be better if they cared a little more about consequences. Of how their own people get hurt.” Kihyun frowns, gesturing vaguely at Minhyuk. The pale light of his computer screen illuminates Minhyuk’s face, making it seem even more drawn and pale, dark shadows further accentuating the bags under his eyes. Minhyuk laughs weakly.

            “You sound inexperienced, talking like that. None of us are people that deserve that kind of consideration. Why else would we all be _here_?” Minhyuk smiles at him, but the smile is imperceptibly off, darker, somehow (and Kihyun remembers the whispered warnings, of what working in this field could do to a person. That the people with problems were the only ones that could last, because things that grow up in the dark thrive in the dark).

            Kihyun barely suppresses a shiver. But he pauses, recalling all the small, seemingly insignificant moments that have passed in the months that he’s been here. Changkyun inexplicably setting fire to their only houseplant. Finding Hyungwon’s face mashed into the medical texts the multiple times he stayed up studying. Hoseok doing crunches on the dining room table and somehow managing to lose his balance and fall on the floor. He remembers and he _knows_ that there are more to the people of X Branch than what others may say about them. Kihyun looks at Minhyuk, his lips curling into a scowl.

            “That’s complete shit and you know it. You guys aren’t good people, but I think you’re good enough.” His eyes harden, staring down at Minhyuk, whose face melts into a guilelessly blank expression. The door opens, causing Kihyun to turn and miss the gently fond look that crosses Minhyuk’s face as Hyungwon pokes his head in.

            “Don’t tear them up, Kihyun. I did some good work on them.” Hyungwon steps aside, giving Kihyun room to pass him. Kihyun nods before disappearing into the next room, door shutting with a gentle click. Hyungwon strolls in with a small sheaf of papers and a bag of bullet fragments, placing them on Jooheon’s desk for examination before making his way to Minhyuk’s desk. He deposits himself on top of the desk, and all of the papers as well.

            “ _Hyungwon_ ,” Minhyuk whines half-heartedly, batting at Hyungwon’s thigh. Hyungwon only smirks, catching Minhyuk’s flailing hands.

            “Everything okay?”

            “Yeah, he’s really pissed though.” Minhyuk frowns, leaning forward to rest his face against Hyungwon’s chest as Hyungwon lets go of his hands. The smells of cedar wood, blood, and antiseptic surround Minhyuk, with heavy emphasis on the latter two given Hyungwon’s recent work. Minhyuk always finds he doesn’t mind it.

            “Pissed enough to leave?” Hyungwon leans forward and moves the computer screen so that he can read it, eyes scanning the report as his hand comes up almost unconsciously to card through Minhyuk’s hair. Minhyuk pauses, lost in thought, before he smiles and shakes his head.

            “Nah.”

 

\---  

_(earlier)_

            Hyungwon picks another bullet fragment out of Hoseok’s shoulder with his tweezers, brow furrowed in concentration. He flicks his hair out of his face and glances up.

            “Well, I hate to break it to you, but you both fucked up.” He frowns at the piece before depositing it on a metal tray with a _clank_.

            “We got the job done. There’s nothing else to discuss.” Hyunwoo intones firmly, his arm crossed as he leans back in his chair.

            “Hardly. You know Kihyun is ready to tear both your heads off.”

            “He doesn’t get it, we made the only choice possible and it wouldn’t have worked if he’d been nagging in our ears the whole time about how bad our decision was,” Hoseok snaps, throwing his hands up on reflex and hissing as Hyungwon’s tweezers dig into the bullet wound. Hyungwon pulls back and wipes the blood off the tweezers, raising an eyebrow at Hoseok.

            “Besides, his suggestions were lacking. He should know that we take matters into our own hands when there’s nothing useful coming from our Quartermaster.” Hyunwoo shifts carefully, avoiding any jostling to the neatly wrapped wound in his side.

            “Jesus, lay off on him, he’s new. And he may not work in the field, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know his shit. Give him some credit, he’s good at what he does.” Hyungwon frowns, his voice cool as he drops the tweezers onto another tray, disposing his bloody gloves into the trash and snapping on a new pair.

            “Regardless, that doesn’t give him the right to lord over us. He gives us the directions, but it’s us who ultimately make the calls.” Hyunwoo’s gaze is firm and imposing, everything a leader’s gaze should be. Hyungwon doesn’t back down, staring back head-on before he turns to thread a needle for stitching.

            “We know that. And we can respect that, but only to a certain degree. You need to think a little more.”

            “You don’t know what we go through out there,” Hoseok snaps, lips lifted in an angry snarl.

            “And you don’t know what we go through in here. Have you ever really thought about that?”

            “It’s different, you don--”

            “Have you ever thought about how much shit Minhyuk gets put through? For every bullet you take, every order you disobey, every handler we send back, he gets chewed out by the Head. He gets told how worthless he is, how they’re going to throw him to the streets because he’s so useless he can’t even control us. Has the Head ever treated you like that?” Hyungwon fires back, eyes flashing. Hoseok falls back, his face blank as Hyungwon turns back to Hoseok’s wound, stitching it neatly. The room descends into a tense silence.

            “He… he’s considered requesting reassignment a few times.” Hyungwon murmurs quietly, eyes never leaving his stitching even as Hoseok jerks in surprise. Hyunwoo’s eyes widen almost comically.

            “ _What_?”

            “It’s…Minhyuk’s strong, but he’s not invincible. But he stays, because he has the biggest fucking heart of anyone I know, and he’s…viciously loyal to the people he loves. He chooses to stay over an easier life because he cares about all of us more than we’ll ever know.” Hyungwon purses his lips, neatly tying off the stitches and discarding the needle and leftover thread. Dumping his gloves and snapping on another fresh pair, he digs around in a cabinet for bandages. Calmly ignoring Hyunwoo and Hoseok’s twin looks of shock, he turns and begins bandaging up Hoseok’s wound.

            “I can’t speak as specifically for Jooheon, Changkyun, or Kihyun because they don’t confide in me like Minhyuk does. But I know that they hurt just as much as you. Just in different ways. We don’t say anything, because we’re all adults and we know you’ve got your own messed up shit to deal with. But just because we don’t say anything doesn’t mean we don’t feel anything.” Hyungwon regards the bandaged injury before nodding and moving to scoop the bullet fragments into a small bag, sealing it off neatly.

            “We’re…sorry.” Hyunwoo puts out hesitantly, eyes trained on Hyungwon as Hoseok nods mutely in agreement. Hyungwon snorts, waving his hand dismissively.

            “Don’t apologize to me. I have the easiest job of anyone here, so I can afford to worry the least and knock your heads together when you’re being stupid. If you owe anyone an apology, it’s the others. You can start with Kihyun, hm?” Hyungwon shoots the two of them a pointed look before returning to jotting notes down on a few pieces of paper.

            A rather uncomfortable silence falls again, punctured only by the scratching of Hyungwon’s pen. Hoseok grabs a spare shirt from the cabinet, tugging it on carefully as Hyunwoo shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Before long, Hyungwon drops his pen on the counter, disposing of his gloves in the trash bin and grabbing the bag and his papers. He walks to the door, dropping his hand on the doorknob and pausing.

            “I’ll be honest with you, Kihyun’s grown on me in the time he’s been here. That being said, he’s far from being a person that forgives easily. You should prepare for him requesting reassignment, if anything.” Hyungwon glances back and nods at the two of them before opening the door and leaving the room. Hoseok exhales and leans back, tilting his head up towards the ceiling as he huffs out a toneless laugh.

            “We really fucked up this time, didn’t we?” Hyunwoo nods in agreement. Silence follows before Kihyun slips in, his face impassive as he shuts the door with a gentle click. He looks back and forth between Hyunwoo and Hoseok, eyes darting between their faces and bandaged wounds.

            “You guys okay?” He ventures cautiously.

            “Could be a lot worse. We’ll be off-duty for a bit, but we’re fine.” Hyunwoo inclines his head in a way that somehow indicates his gratefulness for Kihyun’s concern.

            “That’s…good,” Kihyun nods his head, shifting his stance. An awkward silence fills the room as Kihyun stares at the floor. A few minutes pass before he lifts his head, a determined look on his face.

            “Look, I’m worried about you guys, but I’m still pissed as hell because you ignored a direct order and you both got injured and I still _can’t_ believe you would just step on your--” Kihyun stops himself, frowning before pinching the bridge of his nose and heaving a long sigh.

            “I know…that the directions you hear being yelled in your ear are nothing compared to the gut instincts you experience and…feel the need to follow in the field, I’d be completely _stupid_ if I didn’t recognize that. I just _really_ need you to understand my end of my job as well.” His hands gesture insistently with his words, something Hoseok finds entirely endearing despite the situation they are in.

            “I’m here for 2 reasons. To guide you on the best path to complete a mission, and to do my best to prevent you from getting killed. I’m not afraid to admit that I would choose keeping you two alive over completing a mission, and I’m sure everyone else on this team would agree with me. It’s just that…you two pulling a stunt like you did in Greece makes my primary goal of keeping you alive _that_ much harder, y’know?” He looks away, finger twisting around each other as he collects his thoughts. Hyunwoo looks as though he wants to say something, though he bites his lip and leans back to let Kihyun finish.

            “I don’t want to restrict you on the field. That’s your domain, and you need to do what you need to do the get the job done. I get that. I’m just… maybe I’m proposing that a little more respect be placed in the relationships we have here?” Kihyun’s brow furrows as he looks at Hoseok and Hyunwoo.

            “If you can have some understanding of my— _our_ goal of keeping you safe and the lengths we go to do that, then I can learn to better respect your methods and actions that you employ to reach your goal of getting the job done. Just because we can’t see eye-to-eye on this now doesn’t mean we can’t work towards improving this for the future.” Kihyun finishes off, shoulder relaxing slightly having finished saying what he wanted to say. Hyunwoo nods thoughtfully.

            “I think that’s a…really reasonable way of looking at this. I’m willing to give this a shot.”

            “As am I.” Hoseok nods enthusiastically. Kihyun gives them a relived, albeit tight-lipped smile.

            “That’s reassuring, thank you.” A pause follows.

            “Are you... does that mean you’re staying?” Hoseok ventures cautiously. Kihyun’s tight expression melts into an incredulous look.

            “Are you kidding? I wouldn’t be as good as I am if I ran away from every problem. You’re all a pain in the ass, but you’re going to have to try a lot harder to get rid of me.” Kihyun snorts, punching Hoseok lightly on his un-injured shoulder.

 

\---

 

            Hoseok yanks down the string with his good arm, jumping back to avoid the ladder that descends from the trap door in the ceiling. He tests the ladder’s weight as he climbs up, pushing himself up into the attic and shivering at the lowered temperatures. He squints around the room, eyes adjusting to the dark.

            “Kihyun?”

            “Yeah?” Hoseok jumps as he turns toward his voice, eyes finally catching Kihyun squished onto a ledge next to a window. The window is propped open, revealing the culprit for the below average temperature of the attic. The wind ruffles Kihyun’s hair lightly.

            “Hi.” Hoseok scratches the back of his head awkwardly

            ‘’Hey.” Kihyun’s lip twitches up at the corners.

            “Jooheon said you’d be here, so I…y’know…”

            “Mm.” Kihyun turns away, facing the window again.

            “Can I sit with you?”

            “Nothing is stopping you.” Kihyun shrugs. Hoseok steps across the room, careful not to disturb the peace as he moves further from the artificial light coming from the door and more towards the moonlight that Kihyun sits in. He sits himself gingerly down on the other side of the window ledge, leaning back against the window frame. A long pause follows.

            “I--”

            “Shh.” Kihyun leans over quickly, pressing his finger to Hoseok’s mouth. “Shut up for a little and then you can talk.” Kihyun’s finger falls away as he turns back to the window. Hoseok freezes in his position, watching him carefully. Kihyun closes his eyes, leaning his head back against the ledge and letting the wind brush across his face.

            _He has a very nicely-structured face_ , Hoseok concludes. Sharp jaw, long lashes, full lips. He wouldn’t be out of place in any of the luxurious dinner parties he frequents in the field for work. Nor would he really be out of place in any of the seedier bars, if he dressed just right. The thought of Kihyun abandoning his nicely pressed shirts and slacks for ripped jeans and leather jackets sends a slight shiver up Hoseok’s spine. His eyes flick up to find Kihyun staring straight at him.

            “You were staring.” He arches an eyebrow at Hoseok before sighing, lips twitching in amusement at Hoseok’s embarrassed expression. “What did you come to talk about?”

            “I wanted to apologize…properly, for what happened.”

            “There’s no need, we already came to an understanding. I don’t hold anything against you.” Kihyun leans back, shrugging.

            “Just let me do this, please?” Hoseok frowns, waiting until Kihyun gives him a tentative nod before he looks down at his fingers. He takes a deep breath, picking at his nails nervously before he finally looks up and meets Kihyun’s gaze.

            “I want to apologize for disregarding your directives in Greece. I’ve been doing some thinking, and I want to fix…this…I want to improve. Not just in my work but…how I do things, y’know? I just want to-to be _better_.”

            “I think…that’s an admirable goal to work towards.” Kihyun nods, albeit with a slightly quizzical look on his face.

            “What I wanted to do is that…can you…” Hoseok licks his lips nervously before bracing himself and blurting out.

            “I want you to help me be better.”

            “I’m…not quite sure that I would be the best person for that.”

            “ _No_. You are the best, you’re, you’re just… It has to be you,” Hoseok breathes out, his voice barely above a whisper. Kihyun pauses, searching Hoseok’s face for something that Hoseok doesn’t quite understand. He must find what he’s looking for, Hoseok decides, as Kihyun’s face moves into something more relaxed, with a hint of playfulness.

            “Has to be me, hm? You’ve always been stubborn, but I think I can work with that.” Kihyun moves away from the ledge, scooting so that their legs are touching. He pulls one knee to his chest and just looks at Hoseok, tilting his head to the side and regarding him like a one would look at a rather puzzling piece of modern art.

            “What do you want to be better at?” He inquires gently, chin resting on the folded hands atop his knee.

            Just… _everything_. I want to do my job better, I want to treat everyone better. I--” Hoseok’s breath hitches as Kihyun’s fingers lightly pull his chin to the side so that they are looking straight into each other’s eyes. “I want to treat you better.”

            “And why is that?” Kihyun looks genuinely curious, but somehow not surprised at Hoseok’s confession. Hoseok swallows, wishing that he could do something that would make Kihyun as flustered as he is. It’s been months since the unsure, nervous Kihyun stepped foot into their house. Now it’s just this confident, sure-footed Kihyun that knows his way around and knows exactly what he wants and what he will get. Hoseok feels a burn beneath his skin, an urge just to mess it all up, to make Kihyun lose his footing and fall into him.

            “I, I-just…don’t want…you, to leave. I want you to stay.” Hoseok makes a move to turn away, feeling his ears burn red. Kihyun’s grip tightens ever so slightly, enough to keep his head in place. Their eyes meet again.

            “Well,” Kihyun tilts his head before leaning in slightly, warm breath brushing against Hoseok’s lips, “I would say you’re already doing a better job at making me want to stay.”

            “That’s…good. What, what else would you…suggest?” Hoseok’s voice moves barely above a low murmur, his eyes following Kihyun’s tongue as it flicks out to lick his own lips. He sighs quietly as Kihyun releases his grip on Hoseok’s chin, the backs of his fingers trailing up his jawline before he moves to gently cup Hoseok’s jaw.

            “Why don’t you take a guess?” His voice, breathless as it is, still manages to come out playful. Hoseok hums low in his throat, his hand coming up to rest on Kihyun’s waist, drawing him even closer. He moves forward, their noses brushing gently as Kihyun’s lips curve up into a satisfied smile, eyes closing as they--

            “ _HEY_! Hoseok, are you up there? You said you were going to go with Hyungwon to pick up pizza for dinner!” Minhyuk yells, halfway up the ladder to the attic. Hoseok jumps up, eyes wide as he steps away from Kihyun. Kihyun blinks in surprise, fingers coming up absentmindedly to brush against his own lips as he shoots a weak glare at the top of Minhyuk’s head.

            “Y-yeah, I just needed to…” Hoseok trails off, looking at Kihyun hopelessly. “Did you want Hawaiian?”

            “Yeah. Yeah, I want Hawaiian.” Kihyun blurts out before snorting, burying his face in his hands and shaking in silent laughter. Minhyuk peers over the top of the floor, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

            “What’s up with him?”

 

\---

 

            It occurs to Hoseok (while they tumble into bed, his tongue in Kihyun’s mouth and Kihyun’s hands sliding up his shirt) that this may not be the best idea he’s had. They’ve all heard the stories, of in-office workers becoming too attached to the field operatives. Casual sex becomes established relationships, established relationships lead to sabotaged equipment as payback for some stupid fight, or people losing their partners in the field and being stricken with grief.

            It’s a pretty belated point, in all honesty. Hoseok knows he should have thought of this sooner. But he’s pretty sure that Kihyun’s mouth doing very nice things to his neck (that are probably going to leave nasty bruises come morning) have kicked all rational thoughts out of his mind. Hoseok frowns and steels himself, pushing Kihyun against the sheets and sitting up above him. Kihyun freezes as Hoseok’s hands move away, shivering as Hoseok looks down at him nervously.

            “This…this isn’t gonna interfere with things, right?”

            “ _W-what_?” Kihyun blinks blearily at him, mouth twisted into a confused pout. Hoseok glances wistfully at his mouth before shaking his head, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment.

            “This,” Hoseok gestures at the two of them hesitantly, “it’s not gonna make things…weird, right?”

            “Why are you asking this _now_?” Kihyun whines, twining his arms around Hoseok’s neck and rolling his hips up against him. Hoseok grits his teeth, hands pressing Kihyun’s hips down against the bed.

            “ _Kihyun_.”

            “God _fuck_ , Hoseok, are you always like this before you have sex?” Kihyun takes a deep breath, rolling his eyes as he shifts underneath Hoseok. “I’m not gonna have a problem. Are _you_?”

            “No.” Hoseok winces internally, wishing his voice would sound just a tad more sure. Kihyun squints at him for a moment before his mouth curls into a sly smile.

            “Great.” Kihyun lifts his legs and hooks his ankles at the small of Hoseok’s back, arms pulling him so close he can feel Kihyun’s breath against his lips. Hoseok shivers.

            “Now can we _please_ continue where we left off?”

 

\---

 

            “So Kihyun is cooking dinner tonight?” Jooheon looks up from his phone.

            “Hey, maybe you should go in there and show him what _other_ things can be done in the kitchen, _Wonho_.” Minhyuk giggles at his own suggestion, eyes crinkling at the corners.

            “I hope you get your hands caught in a blender and that nobody is there to help.” Hoseok counters pleasantly, his red ears betraying his casual tone.

            “I would then be handless, jobless, and no longer living with you all. _Then_ where would you all be?” Minhyuk says, pouting.

            “In better company.” Hyungwon says easily, yelping as Minhyuk slaps his shoulder and pushes him off his lap.

            “ _Honestly_ , none of you deserve me. And _you_ say you love me.” He mumbles, scooting away from Hyungwon and sending him a mock angry look.

            “Hyungwon, are those _feelings_ I hear?” Changkyun smirks, his eyebrows wiggling in a knowing way.

            “In my defense, I haven’t even said it.” Hyungwon grumbles, throwing a pillow at him.

            “ _Yet_.” Changkyun chirps back. Hyungwon sends him a dirty glare.

            “You don’t say it, but I know you think it.” Minhyuk says, smiling sweetly as he yanks at the back of Hyungwon’s hoodie and desperately tries to drag him closer. Hyungwon struggles, pulling out of his grip and crouching over his laptop at the other end of the couch. Minhyuk smiles again and settles back into his paperwork. A few minutes pass, Hyungwon’s eyes darting around the room before scooting back, laptop in his lap, as he leans backwards and kisses the corner of Minhyuk’s mouth in a surprising display of dexterity.

            “That’s so _gay_.” Hoseok gasps out, clutching his heart as he falls against Hyunwoo.

            “Fuck off.” Hyungwon mumbles against Minhyuk’s mouth, settling against him before gesturing rudely at Hoseok. “Go be useful and suck Kihyun’s dick or something.”

            “Excuse me?” Kihyun slides in from the kitchen and leans against the doorframe, cutting off Hoseok’s panicked spluttering. He raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms over his chest. “Dinner’s ready.”

            “ _Finally_ , good food.” Changkyun leaps up from the floor, depositing his laptop gently on the coffee table before bounding into the living room. Everyone follows, with Hoseok making a move to sit up. His eyes meet Kihyun’s and, for a moment, Hoseok swears that Kihyun’s eyes soften, that he looks happy. That he feels at home in this mess of a household with seven men who can tear people apart all in their own special ways, but somehow manage to put each other back together. That he’s _content_.

            But the moment disappears, and Hoseok finds Kihyun teasingly making a rude gesture at him before winking and sauntering off into the kitchen.

            Maybe he feels at home in that way too.

 

\---

 

            “Hey, Hoseok?”

            “Hm?” Hoseok pauses, backtracking his path down the hallway so that he stands in the doorway of Kihyun’s room.

            “Can you pass your gun on to Jooheon next time you see him? He’s holed up in his room, but he wants to spot-check your stuff before you’re off to Istanbul.” Kihyun looks up from his desk.

            “You wear glasses?” Hoseok says, eyebrow raising in surprise. Kihyun rolls his eyes, pushing them up his nose.

            “ _Focus_ , Hoseok. Gun to Jooheon? By the end of the day?”

            “Of course.” Kihyun seems to be satisfied, nodding before turning back to his work. Hoseok leans against the doorframe, considering Kihyun’s profile for a moment.

            “You look cute.”

            “ _Shut up_.” Kihyun mutters, cheeks coloring as he pushes his glasses up his nose, shooing Hoseok away with one hand.

 

\---

 

            Missions come and go and become easier, like breathing. A natural feeling of expecting to hear light banter in earpieces, to see figures walk their routes on screen, to experience the relief of getting to live another day. Months pass smoothly and things settle. As much as things in their field can.

 

\---

 

            “Wonho, if you let go of that handrail I _swear_ \--” Kihyun grits his teeth together, eyes trained on Wonho’s figure clinging to the guardrail of a passenger train’s caboose.

_I could handle this if you would let me do what I’m paid to do._

            “Shownu left the trail on my lead, why can’t you?” Kihyun glances at Minhyuk, who gestures frantically at him to stop Wonho from jumping into the rushing water below.

_I know that I can do this, just let me--_

            “Wonho, the chance of you surviving the impact is next to zero. The suspect and evidence is long gone, but their backup is right behind you, you need to leave _now_.”

_I can do this_.

            “Wonho, this is an ord--”

_JUST LET ME DO THIS._

            “NOT UNLESS YOU PROMISE YOU’LL COME HOME.” Kihyun cries out.

            Wonho hears his words and his mind reels, the wind rushing through his hair as he stares at the water, and then the horizon. _Home_. They’ve become home to Kihyun, _he’s_ become home to Kihyun--

             “If…If you _swear_ that you can do this, I won’t stop you. But by _God_ , if you fail…” Kihyun’s voice trembles and, like that, the choice is clear, _so_ clear that he isn’t sure why he thought there was another option before.

_Understood. Falling back now._

 

\---

 

            Hoseok opens to door as Hyunwoo thanks Junggi for escorting them back. He barely has a moment to breathe the familiar air of the house before Kihyun stalks up to him, pulling him into a hug so tight it could be considered a chokehold. Hoseok raises his arms to return the favor, but Kihyun pulls away, punching Hoseok in the side. It barely hurts, but surprises Hoseok enough to stagger back. Turning on his heel, Kihyun darts up the stairs without another word, the distant sound of a door slamming on the second floor being all that remains of this odd, odd greeting.

            “Um, hello?” Hoseok frowns in confusion, meeting Changkyun’s gaze from the couch. Changkyun only grins, turning back to his laptop.

            “Welcome back!” Jooheon waves at them from behind a spread of five different firearms across the dining table.

            “Did I do something wrong?” Hoseok looks around in panic. Minhyuk emerges from the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe and regarding Hoseok with amusement.

            “Contrary to that, actually. You did very well. Now come eat, we heated up leftovers for you guys.”

 

\---

 

            Later that night, when Hoseok knocks tentatively on Kihyun’s bedroom door, a wave of uncertainty washes over him. That maybe he read things wrong, that he assumed too much, that maybe he isn’t home to Kihyun after all. But the door opens and Kihyun latches onto Hoseok, burying his face in his neck. Hoseok pushes the door shut behind him, hands coming up to rub Kihyun’s back as he feels tears soaking into his shirt. Kihyun pulls Hoseok into his bed, burying him in a frenzy of kisses that taste like “ _I was so scared_ ”, “ _Never do that again”_. But they mostly taste of “ _Thank you_ ”.

_Thank you, thank you, thank you._

 

\---

 

            “Stop it,” Minhyuk hisses, batting at Changkyun’s fingers fiddling with his own bowtie. Changkyun frowns and drops his hands at his sides, only for them to creep up mere seconds later to tug at the bowtie once more as Minhyuk turns away.

            “He’s going to strangle you if you keep doing that. And then none of us can save you.” Jooheon points out mildly.

            “Not if I can help it. He can’t strangle me if he can’t find me.” Changkyun mutters, grabbing Jooheon’s sleeve and dragging him to the refreshments table. Kihyun snorts, daintily sipping on his glass of water as he watches everyone mill about. He starts as a glass taps against his own.

            “No champagne?” Hyungwon raises a brow, taking a sip of his own glass.

            “I don’t really drink,” Kihyun says, shrugging.

            “I both admire you and pity you.”

            “Most things are better sans inebriation.”

            “Conversely, some things are best done with alcohol in your system.” Hyungwon sniffs, though his lip quirks up in amusement.

            “Yeah, don’t remind me, I was there during karaoke night.” Kihyun shudders. They both fall into a comfortable silence, watching everyone move around them in the weirdly graceful political dance that everyone at this party was bred to do. Kihyun’s eyes stray, falling on Hoseok and Hyunwoo conversing with some higher-ups. A woman with a backless dress and too-white teeth laughs, her hand deliberately falling on Hoseok’s arm.

            “You could do worse.” Kihyun turns to Hyungwon, who looks at him knowingly. Kihyun examines his glass, before purposely moving his gaze to the other side of the room.

            “Who says I was doing anything?”

            “I would say it’s the loud and constant sex gave you away. Also you look at him a certain way.”

            “I’m not that obvious.” Kihyun frowns.

            “You’re doing a fantastic job at being subtle, let me tell you.” Hyungwon huffs into his drink, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “You look at him like…like he invented the wheel, or something…”

            “You’re terrible at this.” Kihyun scoffs, setting his drink down and crossing his arms over his chest. Across the room, Hoseok carefully extracts himself from the woman’s grip. He catches Kihyun’s eye, looking him up and down before giving an approving nod at his attire. Kihyun smiles unconsciously, eyes creasing up at the corners.

            “You look at him like you’d do anything for him.”

            “So…the way Minhyuk looks at you?” Kihyun inquires, eyes darting over to look over at Hyungwon. Hyungwon’s cheeks flush as he looks down at the floor.

            “I guess.” Hyungwon pauses. “You should tell him.”

            “I want to be sure. Of both of us,” Kihyun murmurs, his eyes following Hoseok as he spins another woman on the dance floor, one of the managing technicians from his previous job. Hoseok grins at something she says, fingers light against her waist. “Give me time.”

 

\---

 

            “Hey.” Kihyun looks over to see Hoseok by his side, leaning his forearms against the balcony.

            “Hello.” Kihyun smiles.

            “Out here all by yourself?”

            “It’s fine inside, but it’s…a lot. And it’s so nice out here.” Kihyun shrugs as Hoseok hums in understanding. They stand side-by-side, watching cars zip along the road.

            “You look nice,” Hoseok hums, shoulder bumping against Kihyun’s playfully.

            “You don’t clean up so bad yourself, Shin Hoseok.” Kihyun grins, nudging his toes against Hoseok’s rather expensive patent leather shoes. Perks of being a field operative; you live fast and well and die early. Or so they say.

            The chatter from the ballroom suddenly seems to increase in volume.

            “It’s almost time,” Hoseok notes in an amused voice, stretching and looking up at the sky. “Any resolutions you want to speak into existence?”

            “I’m not gonna to tell you until it’s actually the new year.” Kihyun snorts as Hoseok chuckles, shrugging. The crowd inside shift excitedly, voices loud.

_10_

_9_

_8_

Hoseok shifts, turning to face Kihyun. He isn’t much taller, but Kihyun suddenly feels smaller under his gaze.

_7_

_6_

His fingers come up, curling under Kihyun’s chin and tilting his head up slightly.

_5_

Kihyun inhales, eyes wide.

_4_

_3_

Hoseok’s eyes regard Kihyun carefully, lip twitching up in amusement. He leans in, breath fanning against Kihyun’s cheek.

_2_

Kihyun shivers.

_1_

            “Happy new year, Yoo Kihyun,” Hoseok murmurs in his ear, lips brushing gently against Kihyun’s cheek before pulling away. Kihyun blinks and looks up at Hoseok, fireworks illuminating his wide eyes and stunned expression.

            “Wh…what was that for?”

            “It’s a new year tradition. Do they not do that from whatever planet you’re from?” Hoseok lounges back against the balcony, grinning cheekily at him.

            “No, it’s just...we’ve kissed plenty of times before, but you…” Kihyun trails off, his fingers coming up to touch his cheek. Hoseok’s cheeks flush as he looks away, tilting his head up to admire the pinwheels in the sky.

            “It just…felt _right_.” Hoseok turns his head just so, eyes meeting Kihyun’s almost shyly. “Didn’t it?”

 

\---

 

            It occurs to Hoseok, as he shampoos his hair and considers whether he should consult Kihyun before getting his next haircut, that there’s a chance he’s developed feelings for Kihyun. Very intense feelings that he shouldn’t feel. Feelings that he told himself to not develop.

            “Oh fuc--” Hoseok breaks off, cursing as he drops the soap on his foot. He rinses off faster than humanely possible, toweling off and drying his hair while his mind reels.

_When did it start? Was it all the flirting? Greece? Istanbul? The new year’s kiss?_

            He pauses. _Definitely after Greece_. The dark attic, wind in hair, and moonlight in Kihyun’s eyes. And that was before they even had sex. Hoseok wants to slap himself. Istanbul and the new year’s kiss weren’t even options, just more nails into his metaphorical romantic coffin.

He throws on clothes haphazardly, sprinting down the stairs towards the office.

            “Minhyuk, I--” Hoseok yanks the door open, stopping dead in his tracks.

            “Please go have your crisis elsewhere, I’m _busy_ ,” Minhyuk hisses, hand fisted in Hyungwon’s hair as Hyungwon mouths along his neck. Hyungwon glances up, eyes flashing dangerously at Hoseok.

            “Put a sock on the doorknob, _Jesus_.” Hoseok backs out of the room, slamming the door shut and throwing himself onto the living room couch.

            “Spot me?” Hyunwoo enters the room minutes later, tapping Hoseok’s shoulder. Hoseok lifts his head from the pillows, looking at Hyunwoo.

            “Only if you listen to my emotional baggage.”

            “Fair trade.” Hyunwoo moves toward the stairs, giving Hoseok time to get up and follow him. They enter the weight room, Hyunwoo sitting himself down and stretching as Hoseok closes the door and leans against the wall.

            “So, what’s wrong?”

            “I’ve caught…feelings…” Hoseok frowns at the floor.

            “For Kihyun? You finally noticed.” Hyunwoo sits himself on the bench, smiling knowingly as Hoseok looks up sharply.

            “You knew?”

            “Everyone did except for you, it seems. And Kihyun.” Hyunwoo motions Hoseok over, lying down and waiting for Hoseok to stand over him.

            “I don’t--it wasn’t supposed to happen. I thought it wouldn’t be a problem.” Hoseok’s eyes follow the bar carefully as Hyunwoo lifts.

            “Things like that have a funny way of happening whether you like it or not,” Hyunwoo responds with a huff. Hoseok shrugs.

            “I’m just not sure of what to do now.”

            “What do you want to do?”

            “Ideally? Pursue it. Realistically? Not sure. There’s a lot working against this.” Hoseok frowns, pursing his lips together.

            “Such as?”

            “Our _jobs_ , for one. And then the liability of coworker relationships. The thing they drilled into our brains at orientation.” Hoseok snorts, giving Hyunwoo a pointed look.

            “And yet Hyungwon and Minhyuk do it.” Hyunwoo somehow _shrugs_ while lifting.

            “Hyungwon and Minhyuk are different. I barely remember what they were like apart, it feels wrong to have one without the other nearby. Besides, they both work office, not field.”

            “Hm.” Hyunwoo continues to lift in the silence that follows. “What else?” Hyunwoo pauses, motioning for Hoseok to add a little more weight. Hoseok complies, biding his time in responding.

            “What do you mean?”

            “There’s more, isn’t there.” Hyunwoo looks up into Hoseok’s eyes, his eyes knowing.

            “I can’t…I don’t know how he feels about it. I really don’t think he feels the same.”

            “Have you talked to him?” Hyunwoo stops, hooking the bar back onto the holder and stretching a little.

            “No…?”

            “Then how would you ever know what he feels?” Hyunwoo doesn’t roll his eyes, but Hoseok can practically hear it in his voice.

            “…Sometimes it feels nicer to pretend and not know the truth.” Hoseok shrugs.

            “If I didn’t know you better, I’d be disappointed that came out of your mouth.” Hyunwoo ducks under the bar, sitting up and grabbing a towel. He wipes his face, expression thoughtful as he considers Hoseok. “Talk to him, it’d be good. Think about it.”

 

\---

           

            Kihyun bolts awake, eyes slamming open as he gasps, his fingers curling into the sheets. He stares blankly at the ceiling, trying desperately to slow his heart rate down through slow, deep breaths. Rubbing his eyes, he notes absently that the feeling of being watched from his dreams is somehow still lingering. Kihyun props himself up on his elbows, freezing as he catches a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye.

            Jerking so quickly that he slams his head against the wall, he grabs his handgun from the bedside table, flipping off the safety and aiming it at…Hoseok?

            “What the _fuck_ ,” Kihyun hisses, pulling the safety back on the gun and rubbing the back of his head viciously.

            “Good… morning?” Hoseok ventures cautiously, a hesitant smile on his face.

            “No, _not_ a good morning. How long have you been he-- wait, _wait_ , have you been _watching_ me this whole time? Hoseok what the _fuck_?” Kihyun drops the gun back on the table, dragging his hands down his face as he falls against the pillows. Hoseok fixes him with an amused look, leaning back in Kihyun’s chair.

            “Awfully vocal with the expletives, are we?”

            “Oh, fuck off,” Kihyun counters eloquently, launching a pillow that Hoseok catches with ease.

            “Can we talk?”

            “Uh, no? Unless you have a really good reason for watching me sleep and waking me up, I’m going to go back to bed.” Kihyun wrinkles his nose, attempting to bury himself under his sheets. Hoseok grabs the edge of the blankets, yanking them out of Kihyun’s grip.

            “I just want to talk and I can’t think of any other place we wouldn’t be disturbed.” Hoseok presses his lips together in a thin line, tossing the covers aside. Kihyun sits up and glares.

            “There are many, many other places and many, _many_ other ways this could have been done.”

            “ _Kihyun_ , please.”

            Oh, well, if you’re going to beg like that…” Kihyun trails off, grinning as the tips of Hoseok’s ears flush red.

            “Please, I _need_ to talk to you.” Hoseok turns away, a muscle jumping in his jaw. Kihyun frowns before pulling his legs to his chest, resting his chin atop his knees.

            “Okay, I’m listening.” Kihyun pulls the covers up to cover his feet. Hoseok swallows, mouth opening and closing with indecisiveness before finally taking the chance and diving in.

            “I just…I just need to know that all this is serious, that you mean what you’re doing with me. That you’re not gonna get bored or decide that you just want _Wonho_ and all his smooth catchphrases and amazing sex and that Hoseok and all his awkward conversations and insecurities and emotional issues aren’t gonna cut it, y’know?” Hoseok doesn’t even look up, fiddling intensely with a hangnail on his right ring finger. The skin tears away and a bit of fresh blood wells up, causing Hoseok to shove the finger in his mouth and stare at the floor. Kihyun frowns, tugging at Hoseok’s arm.

            “I don’t think conversations with you are awkward at all though…”

            “ _Kihyun_.” Hoseok finally looks up, his face pinched with worry as he pulls his finger out of his mouth. Their eyes meet and Hoseok looks away so fast there’s a chance he just gave himself whiplash. Kihyun pauses and regards him with a tilted head, pushing the covers away and crawling up to the edge where Hoseok sits. He sits back on his heels, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

            “Honestly Hoseok…you have so little faith in me,” Kihyun murmurs gently, fingers coming up to guide Hoseok’s face so that their eyes meet. “I’m here because I want you. _All_ of you.”

            “O- _oh_ …” Hoseok stammers out, cheeks flushing as he looks nervously at Kihyun. His eyes dart down to Kihyun’s lips before snapping back up.

            “Oh.” Kihyun parrots, smirking slightly as he watches Hoseok fidget. Kihyun leans in, pressing a chaste kiss to Hoseok’s lips. He pulls away, resting his forehead against Hoseok’s.

            “I really do want you. I just didn’t say because I was afraid you didn’t want all of me,” Kihyun confesses, fingers dropping to hold Hoseok’s hands in his. Hoseok smiles gently.

            “Well, now you know better. We both know better.” Hoseok moves away, eyes considering Kihyun thoughtfully.

            “What now?” Kihyun says, voice playful as he taps Hoseok on the nose.

            “Well… I’ve said what I needed to stay so… Do you still want me to go?” Hoseok makes a move to stand up from his seat, only to have Kihyun pull him onto the bed. Kihyun settles in his arms, pressing a kiss to Hoseok’s jaw as he pulls the covers over the both of them.

            “Nah.”

**Author's Note:**

> yes so i would like to point out that i started this fic like at least 2 months before jealousy came out and i put changkyun as the technical analyst/hacker so yeah, where are my shares starship???? also i know absolutely nothing about bomb diffusing!! most importantly, thank you for sticking through this mess of a story, i hope you enjoyed it ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡  
> title of this fic is from sam smith- writing’s on the wall (from the spectre soundtrack)
> 
> come talk to me on [tumblr](http://aminhyuk.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/peachyminhyk)


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